i like it this way that my blog is so not happening that nobody bothers to check it. sometimes, i just want to vent out without recieving any judgement from others. but why a blog? coz maybe someone might come along, read this, & find a connection between my words & their own feelings. everyone wants to feel lyk they're not alone.

just got back from challengers camp. not too bad but not that awesome either. i dont know whether it was worth cutting short my trip back home. but i thought abt home, a lot, at camp.

when i came here to study. i lied. i didn't come here to study just bcoz "the education was better". that was just an image, a diversion, for everybody.

i grew tired of home. everywhere i turned, it reminded me of what i wanted to forget. i came here to run away.

running away is an act of a coward. but onn told me, it takes a lot of courage to leave everything u've known as ur entire life behind to start afresh.

but being away from home made me rediscover myself. i realized that i had been too caught up in trying to forget, i never took tym to appreciate what i had around me.

i miss my family, mumee especially. tuesday morning wen i woke up mum left a note before going for work under my door bcoz she didnt want to wake me up to say that she's sorry she can't send me off at the bus station. yes, mumee being sweet as ever. really love her. i really can't imagine life without her. she's 1 of the most selfless person i've ever known. her children, husband, parents, siblings, the needy, etc. they alwiz come before her ownself.

i miss my friends. eugene tan, the childhood best friend, who has been der for me since almost forever. who nows that i hate crying in front of ppl, & that when i do, all i need is a silent reassuring hug, coz he aso knows i dislike being pitied on. & of coz jinonn, who alwiz knows the ryt things to say. if the depression point my life hadn't happened, i probably wouldn't have been so close to him. my dear li chin, who like me, at times lose faith but learn to live with what we have. michelle, the confused lil sweetheart. xiau fong, d steady listening ear & alwiz d logical side. kelly yeo & jia min hus presence just makes me smile.

of coz alot of ppl presume that sg being developed den msia in so many areas wud be a much nicer place to stay at. but i believe that home will alwiz be the place where u grew up. where i come from, though it's a far cry from perfect, but that's a part of the place i grew up with & it'll never change. it will alwiz be d place wer i can be mostly myself. where me & my frens can do random acts such as climbing to d rooftop of summit hotel, fly a kite, climb a hill, have a picnic. i don't want a city filled with shopping malls, mrts & high rised buildings. i need a place where i feel at home.

never realized i was so patriotic till i came here to study. lol. i gez u reli don't know what uve got till it's gone.

i came here to forget. is it working? only tym will tell. but at least now when i listen to Your Guardian Angel & Built To Last, & it doesn't make me heart cringe.

it still gets lonely here. during times when i just want to call up someone to tell them abt my day, only to realize d ppl i'd love to share my day wif are all back home. but i'm grateful d person i am & where i am now. there are so many ppl that are worse off.

on the brightside, i've made friends at camp. & maybe i'd find someone i can be myself with in this city i call my temporary home.

this is my temporary home, it's not where i belong