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Saturday, April 25, 2009 @ 6:30 PM

sometimes, i wish i could turn back time. back where? i don't know, really. just anywhere but now.

forever isn't long enought to forget the people & places that played out in your tragedy.


Saturday, April 18, 2009 @ 7:58 PM

just living each day at a time. coz life can be pretty overwhelming sometimes. & u gotta be a lil nonchalant, retain your naive sense of mind & numb yourself through the pain to get through the wasted days.

lately, i've been hooked on several things.

A. Music
addicted to several bands. my 2 top criterias when i rate a song is the melody & lyrics. was already familiar with Red Jumpsuit Apparatus before & they've got pretty gd songs. lately, discovered Thirsty Merc, Mayday Parade & my personal fav-- Dear Juliet. they're not those reli out there bands, but their giler chun.

B. chinese novels by 藤井树(hiyawu)
hey, i'm from chinese primary skul k. i noe my spoken chinese is kinda shytty. a few ppl tot i was banana wen they just met me. maybe i have banana vibes, hu noes... still rmb d paling extreme case was my band ex-senior hu knew me for nearly half a yr & went lyk "u noe chinese ar?" wen i was rojaking while talking (in case u dun understand me, it means i was talking in eng+chinese+malay). dont get me wrong. im not some banana wannabe. in fact, i love chinese as a language, just not as a subject. such a waste some ppl duno d language. it can be so goddamn bee-u-ti-ful sometimes. just gona throw in some of my fav chinese quotes here for ur viewing pleasure (to be more exact those hu can read it). =)

我从她的侧脸,看到了另一个世界。仿佛我跟她被隔离在两个不同的空间。或许该这么说,当我看着她的侧脸时,我的人在这个空间,而“我双眼里的视界”,又是另一个世界。那感觉就像是全世界只有你熟悉这样侧脸,而这张侧脸只存在你的眼睛里,却不存在于你的世界里。
让我说得清楚一点,就是当你看着一张熟悉的侧脸,其实你并不是正在‘看着’,而是正在‘倾诉着’。你正在对着这张‘熟悉的侧脸’说话,只是对方听不到。


回憶之所以美好,是因為就算刻意再去重建,也沒辦法跟原來的一樣了。


如果人生就像電影,那麼誰跟誰能在一起,是不是也都照著劇本來呢?


有一段時間,我的心情每天都是低氣壓的,用天氣來形容的話,大概就是那種會飄著細雨,灰濛濛的雲蓋滿了整片天的。


听说,红色是思念;因为思念让心胀红,让人憔弱。听说,蓝色是忧郁;因为忧郁让心泛蓝,让人碎意。我不清楚蓝色,因为我不是蓝色系;但我了解红色,因为数年之后,我依然想念你……


世界上有两种人。
第一种是懂得爱人的人,第二种则反之。
懂得爱人的人,眼光触及爱情里每个角落,不做作、不虚伪,付出的时候尽全力付出,忘了自己的存在,累到忘了累,苦到不觉苦,不求留给自己什么,却担心还没有给对方什么,心记所有幸福路径,心系所有感情累积,对方给予的一丝一毫搂在怀里珍惜,对方忽略的粗心大意给自己理由安慰自己,对方默视的冷冰用自己的热情融解并且忘记,对方所做出来的选择伤透了自己也没关系,永远与对方站在同一阵线,即使阵线上的土地,满布着椒毒魇气,只要对方能幸福,自己愿意当牺牲品。


在懂得爱人的人心里,这些事,家常便饭,甘之如饴。
听过太多懂爱的人,在深夜里的电话那端诉说着他爱上不懂爱的人之后心中的酸楚,那些痛苦往往能够轻易地透过电话线传递过来,也引起我的心酸。
我说:“那么,你还想继续下去吗?”
电话那头:“这不是想不想的问题。”
我说:“不然呢?”
电话那头:“我只有继续下去这一条路,我别无选择。”
我说:“是爱给的太多吗?”
电话那头:“不,是在她尚未真正幸福之前,我放不下手。”
他痛苦吗?
或许是,但他在痛苦中找到甜蜜。


因为电话那头的他,有的是人追求,而他的心里,却容不下别人对他的喜欢。
试问,在追求他的人心中,他不也是不懂得爱的人吗?


我觉得痛苦,爱情本身那么简单,为什么有这么多纠缠?
两个人的世界里两个人相爱,别人进不来,不是就没了迷乱?
后来发现爱情不简单,所以难过与遗憾会一直一直存在。


爱情不简单,所以难过与遗憾会一直一直存在。
我眼看着难过在进行,遗憾在成形,一颗心无渊底般的坠下去,即使没有摔碎,也将不会有原来的晶莹。

曾經,有個女孩,讓我付出,
直到所有感覺被抽空,像是一根煙燒到了尾末;
曾經,有個女孩,讓我感受,
愛情是完全沒有投資報酬率的東西,
只要能感覺到一絲絲的被愛,
就可以滿足或彌補自己過去的、曾經的那些所有付出;
曾經,有個女孩,讓我體會,
愛上一個人,總是會不自覺的墮落,
幸福儘管遙不可及,卻依然像是海市蜃樓般的接近。


她說,曾經有個男孩子很愛她,但她卻不知道自己對那個男孩的感覺也是愛,當那個男孩子離開之前對她說「Just Follow your Feeling」的時候,也同時帶走了她最原始的Feeling。
她說,她不碰愛情,是因為自己有太多感情。她說,她總是在不同的環境中,遇到相同的愛情,她總是看著身邊的男孩來來去去,卻無法讓自己為他們停下來。
她說,她不能再一次負荷感情的流逝,那像是參加自己的葬禮,而自己明明想在愛情裡呼吸。 她總是認為,付出了那麼多的感情,換來的必須要是永遠才可以。


在愛情裡,永遠只有結果來判決你,而不是你去決定結果的判決。


分手后, 不能做朋友,因为彼此伤害过; 不能做敌人,因为曾经相爱过。 所以我们只能做最熟悉的陌生人......


每个女孩都是不会哭泣的天使,遇到自己爱的人,流下了眼泪,于是落入凡间。所以男孩千万不要辜负女孩,因为女孩为了你,放弃了整个天堂。


我想我不懂得什么是爱.我不懂得怎么去拥抱一道美丽的彩虹吧. 所以.我总是不能从你柔情似水的眼睛里看见我自己的幸福. 我想我不懂得怎样接受爱.我不懂得去感 受温暖的阳光吧.所以.我总是不能从你那里紧张的眼神里 看 见我的重要. 爱.是什么.我在迷惑.这么多年艰难的在寻找.可是却从没有想去回头问问你什么是爱.因为我确信我自 己能找到.我却不知道.只要我一回头.你就在我身后.轻轻的陪我看细水长流.

我們總是往前看的多,所以經常忘了要回頭。以為背後的風景是看過的,卻忘了天使從不曾走到面前來。因此即使祂在,我們也沒有察覺。許多自以為的道理,有時其實並非如我們所想像,真相大白時,可惜往往是以遺憾收場.


我始终带著你爱的微笑 一路上寻找我遗失的美好 不小心当泪滑落嘴角 就用你握过的手抹掉

I'm blasting my music so I won't hear my thoughts, but it's stupid, because the lyrics just remind me of what I'm trying to forget.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009 @ 7:34 PM

haven't updated for a bloody long time. bah. blogs are such a nuisance to maintain. X3
feeling rather purplish. lol. been busy with all d ungu stuff for sports day. feel lyk an effin bloodsucker these few days from all the yuran-kutiping.
been so overwhelmed with so many things havent been spending enough time with my kakis lately. oh wells~ hope they'll forgive me if i blog about them here. X3

just a few of my beloved cousins
yi jing
closest person to me alive. we can talk about anything, everything. i love spending time with her. but rarely do coz my cousins are mostly in jb. =( i remember the tym when she came over to my house. we talked from 10pm-2am, eat instant noodles, continued talking till 7am. don't ask me what we talk about. coz i reli have no idea. lol. endless amount of things to talk about. my grandma always complain why we even have to talk during meals. done some pretty stewpid, crazy things together. eventhough our lifestyles & interests are not quite similiar, we're just oh-so-compatible. =)

jun hao
doing his A-levels in uk now. reli miss him sometimes. a reli sweet guy. he's probably the last living male who's friggin loyal. girl hu gets him is damn lucky. caring. patient. understanding. aiyor.. 1 word that best describes him. THE PERFECT GUY. can't wait till he gets back end of june. yays. look forward to spending time with him.

yik ru
i know she doesn't look like she's 3yrs older than me.. & she sure doesn't act that way either. lol. very nice to be around with. very genuine. since she came to study at the one academy last year, she usually comes over to my hse during weekends to slpover. too bad she's been busy lately. very lonely la without her. supportive. hope she remembers i'll always be there for her too. =)

the men in my life (my dudettes disguised as dudes)

eugene
we go wayyy back. my 1st best friend in primary school. we were the two banana kids who sat together during the first day of school in lick hung so we clung onto each other for dear life. frenship passed the test of time. if i ever get married he'd be my best man. lol. he panics & doesnt know what to do when i cry. thank gawd i rarely do in front of ppl. is always supportive & willing to lend a helping hand. misunderstood by those who don't really know him. he's not just a japanese-obsessed, tongue-twisting freak! more than meets the eye, k!

psst..he turned 17 last thurs. i derived a plan to fatten him up so i baked him a brownie/cake. =D

*
Karuna
a total sweetie. knew him in form2 during my 1st day of school in seafield. pretty girl eyes. haha. uber outgoing & friendly. put him in a room full of strangers & leave him there for 5minutes & he'd probably be frens with everyone in the room by then. good singer. really naive in a way. can be such a pushover sometimes cos he's too nice of a person. but if anyone decides to take advantage of him. grr...

jin onn
the guy with the highest EQ i know. lol. know him last year. started talking giler alot this year. a softie on the inside. bloody rajin. bloody patient too. i'm surprised his ears are still in tact. always listen to me vent about my real life korean-drama stories (according to him that is). but apparently he likes to subscribe to all the seasons. haha. oh. i forgot to mention he's property of hui ting. X3

yong cheng
know him since std one. used to sit next to him in std six. always let me copy his maths homework. teehee. now, still close la. uber lame. trying to steal bobo's title for being the lamest. have alot of inside jokes with him. three fingers. transformers. decepticon. lol! jin onn & me punya inofficial guitar teacher. his hse is our fav lepaking place. always go there for mahjong. & i feel like a proud parent. finally found himself a gf. X3



my koncos

yepyep. we're a packaged deal. lol. formed in form4. we have a pact that next time whenever one of us gets married, the other 5 have to become the bridesmaid. the bride most make sure the fellow bridesmaid attend even if their halfway around the world. haha. i'll rmb that. jarang go out with all 5 of them coz our schedules are always busy & different! whatever happened to the redbox chiong kay outing we talked about since last year?!

Jia Min
the food buff! lol. knew this qutie here last year when we got into the same class. has a what-u-see-is-what-u-get attitude. straightforward. coming out of her lil conservative shell no thax to other five of us. lol. oh no... corrupted her innocent mind edi. personally think she's got a very strong sense of her own principles. & i mean that in a gd way. =)


Kelly
fuyoh! st. john pres weih. but when u know her true colors... lol. only know her in form4 when we were destined to be in the same cls. so many adjectives to describe her. retarded. sampat. noisy. qute. DIMPLES! etc. we all lurve for her that. giler creative. aww...still remember the time she & xf came over to my hse to help with the band senior's gifts when i was overstressed eventhough they weren't bandies. *sniffs*


Li Chin
same class with her when i baru transfer over to seafield in form2. was in band with her. it wasn't until we were in the same form4 cls we got close. hmm...definitely think with her heart more than her head. very fickle-minded. lol. deserves a great guy. =) oh. & we've come to d conclusion we're of the same type. we skydive into that who-knows-whats-at-the-botton pit of love without second thoughts...& no parachute. lol.

Michelle
another fren back from primary school. wasn't close to her until we got into the same class in form4. another romantic like me! but has a really out-of-this-world/probably-never-gona-happen expectation when it comes to love in reality. lol. can't blame a girl for dreaming. X3 always supportive. & random at times.
Xiau Fong
known this crazy girl since i was std one. always there to do crazy stuff with me. will sampat with me when i'm in the mood. miss the good ol' lick hung days when we used to spend alot of time with each other in std six as prefects. lol. future successful career woman. thinks with her head more often than her heart. zaps me back into reality. =)
ANYWAY here's a bunch of random stuff i've seen or done lately...

the look i pulled off last minute when i decided to go leo iu one hr b4 it started X3

walid's uber qute sheep which i'm in love with~
I'm trying to make you notice me but you don't care You play me like a broken game of Snakes and Ladders Or cards or piano or a record that's been thrown in the trash.
I don't wanna save the world I just wanna waste some time with you .
-Wasting Time by Thirsty Merc


An Introduction

This is a story about a girl.
But you should know upfront, there are no real beginnings.
This is a story of a girl, who dreamed, loved & always remained hopeful.
But you should know upfront, there are no real endings.
This is a blog of new beginnings, bittersweet endings & what happens in between.

This is a blog that reflects life as it is & are solely opinions of my own.

Feel free to ponder, doubt or challenge whatsoever that is written here. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I am pretty opinionated myself.

Just Me

07071992
lives inside a fictional world called my head.
i try to keep things simple & enjoy the lil things in life.
i'm weird. sometimes i like to be lonely, other times i hate the sound of silence.
yet another hopeless romantic. just another dreamer.
keeping a low profile.

Flashback

There is always one person you love who becomes th...
The Move
Lonely Hearts
Cocoon
You've Got A Friend In Me
Our July In The Rain
I'm Gonna Find Another You
Better days
Slow dancing in a burning room
Bring me back to the night i felt alive

Rewind

March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 May 2011